bryiarrose: (cuddle)
it rained and rained earlier, but the kind of storm that leaves it feeling humid and hard to breathe. as if the clouds stopped mid-tantrum, and hadn't cried themselves out. i'll take what i can get though, where rain's concerned.

i had two days this week where my alarms were useless, a day apart. frustrated beyond belief. i have a hard time pinning down what could possibly pass for reasons, and so i look for patterns instead. i keep hoping that eventually i'll find them.

work has been crazy. literally flying by, hardly realizing what time it is anymore. that's what happens when there's too much work for too few people. i need a promotion, or at the least a raise.

my baby brother turned fifteen today. i don't have the words for how amazed i am. he's still so young, and yet he's growing into someone i really enjoy and respect. i can't say anything better, really.

this week has been an odd mix of challenges. so many emotions. so many words in my head. i can't begin to pin them all down tonight. so many emails i haven't gotten around to returning, those will have to wait a few more hours yet as well. for the moment, i guess i just need to.. document. and maybe i'll end up locking the rest of this down more, maybe i'll chicken out, but for now... it feels important enough to not.

i bought new jeans over my lunch break tonight. i'm back to the point where none of my pants fit again, and decided to go try on stuff off the clearance rack. i ended up buying ones that weren't on clearance, because, well. the ones i got are size six. i haven't bought a pair of jeans that size, my size, off the rack in over five years. i still don't believe it really. )
bryiarrose: (hold the cards by joaninha)
so yesterday i got up, got everything done to leave for work, and walked down around the corner to where my car was parked. i got in, started the car, pulled out around the corner, and thought, "this isn't right."

got out, and went around to the passenger side, and confirmed: this is not my week.

flat tire. very flat tire. very not what i needed.

so i ended up getting to work later than i'd wanted to, getting home later than i'd wanted to, and then spending quite some time with my dad and brother and a plug kit trying to fix the hole a broken screw had put in my tire. it was holding air last night, or seeming to, so we'll see today i guess. i need new tires anyhow. here's one more incentive.

but. i finally got home dirty and tired a little after 10pm, and knew that staying home was best for me. as i said previously, my actions of late have certainly been justifiable, but that doesn't mean i like them. those i had tentative plans with this weekend, sorry--my world seems to be against me having fun right now.

i remain not quite broken (yet), so in one last attempt to enjoy myself, i'm going to the fair with my family tonight. not sure how much actual fair time i'll get, since my little sister is twirling baton in the talent show, and that's the primary reason they're going. if by some chance you'll be there too, give me a call. (contact info, for those who can get at it.)
bryiarrose: (family)
my grandmother, helen deforest norris, passed away this afternoon.
nana went in her sleep, and to our knowledge, as comfortable as she could be.
she is already greatly missed.
bryiarrose: (elliott flowers)
my grandmother is dying.

more )
bryiarrose: (kiss goodbye)
tonight i attempted to sort through the 68 banana boxes containing most of my belongings from the first fifteen years of my life. a multitude of stuff i haven't seen in over ten years. about a third of it was easy to toss or get rid of. the rest is going in to short term storage while i sort through it. sell, keep, toss.

it's strange to think about how my mother and i hardly know each other. it's stranger to think about how in about a year, she'll be living on maui, and if ever things come up in my life like weddings or babies (none on the horizon at present, mind you), whether she'll be involved. i guess i've got about a year to figure it out. perhaps.

February 2010

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