bryiarrose | *yawn*

my anxiety has been creeping up on me again. lying in the dark, trying to ignore the ticking of my alarm clocks, trying to breathe in unison with the boy or with the cat, trying to fall asleep, that's when i feel it. there's this anxious ball that shows up right below my breastbone, that i can either identify as something to quash, or something to feed. literally. this is the feeling that (in part) made me gain weight when i went back to school. this is the feeling that led to me freaking out. i don't want that again.

there's so much stress right now though. we move in eight days and i feel like i've hardly packed. my benefits run out at the end of this month and i've had next to no success in either finding a new job or getting hired on full time at the current one. and that, is scary. i mean, honestly, i've started applying to crappy jobs with insurance companies. because when it comes right down to it, my health is more important than being happy at my job. stupid preexisting conditions.

i only ever post about the lousy things these days. i'm sorry for that.
on the plus side, tonight i had sushi that falls into the category of "decent for the suburbs" and one of the best mojitos i have ever had. back to try sleeping again.
(eta: okay, that website is the most amusing thing i've seen in awhile. i had to link it.)