so if I fell I would fall right in

this is the eighth year in a row i've posted something to livejournal on my birthday.

it's hard to believe this makes eight years. and, for how far i've come, hard to believe it's only eight.

thirty was huge for me. not in traditional ways, but in ways that have meant more to me than i can fully comprehend. i know i've been talking about this roller coaster ride of mine for months now, but honestly, i suspect i'm still on it. coasting, sure--but there's directed momentum beneath. my world has turned upside down, right side up, inside out, take your pick. i never would have guessed a year ago that this is where i'd be, or that i'd be thankful for it. but it is, and i am.

i'm making promises to myself. i'm prioritizing my priorities. i'm reconnecting, resurrecting, digging in.

i'm learning to appreciate how all the tiny beautiful things pile up to make the big things work out okay.

( i'm ready for a new year.  )

breaking the radio silence, a brief respite for something like tradition.

i've stared down another year, can't say who blinked first, though.

all said and done, i'm thankful for everything--what i've learned, how i've grown and changed, the good things and the hard ones, everything cheesy but truthful i could say here.
i'm not sure if i have regrets, as generally (like resolutions) i don't believe in them. but all the same some things make me sadder than others.
i'm lonely sometimes--i miss you. yes, you. i have wonderful amazing people in my world, and most of them are out of reach. my fault, yes, admittedly so.

the handful that look out for me no matter what, i'm lucky to have.

i look back at the last five years that i've watched this day in in a similar fashion, and am amazed at how things have changed. worlds and worlds away, these eons i've traveled through.

i'm tired. three a.m. is late for me tonight, the way the meds and the sleeping and the working and the world play out. i'm tired, and it shows. in my silliness with words, in the photos, in my face.



but this is twenty-nine. hello world, i've missed you.

this year i took what felt like a million pictures of myself. this year i stood up for myself--i can't count how many times--even when it cost me, even when it helped me. this year i lost. this year i loved. this year i learned. and i am still learning. still finding how to be the best version of myself. functional, but not just. thoughtful, always. creative... well. obviously i've got work to do. hello twenty-nine, let's discuss a few things.

[i don't have birthday plans at the moment. i'd thought vaguely about declaring brunch at seward or else something in the evening post ridiculous sporting events, but i've not decided. let me know if you've opinions or thoughts or otherwise.]

friday when i wake up i'll be in seattle. i've never been there before. obviously, a number of you have. so.

what do i need to see/do/etc while there?

this saturday is also my birthday, so birthday type ideas would be welcomed as well. (bohemianish has suggested trying to track down one ms. mothra_dawn as she is rumored to be a karaoke superstar and everyone needs more mothra in their lives.)

i'll be back reallyreally early on the eleventh, and then we'll talk about potential birthday type plans for here. twenty-eight feels like it could be quite a good year.

dear world and birthday.

i was the most dressed up.

but i wasn't the drunkest.

because a) i'm still posting and b) i didn't disappear to anywhere while there were still people over.

thank you to everyone who showed up tonight and made my world an even lovelier place to turn twenty-seven in.

i'm not old yet, and i know it. i'm just beginning to find the path. and that's a gorgeous realization.

i love you all. who were there, who are here. everyone that touches my world.

maybe tomorrow there'll be pictures.

aren't you amazed at my ability to check my typos?

so since my silly poll remained tied up amongst the suggested themes, i've decided to just go with them all. except parakeets. (well, i won't be going forward with that at least. if you'd like to, by all means be my guest--i'd be most curious.)

so:

punk rock pirate prom

or just whatever you feel like i suppose. i'm at least going to attempt the punk rock pirate part of things, and we'll see how fancy i can get from there.

1) my house (link) for starters and probably cake around seven
2) the red dragon (link) to snag a table around eight
3) onwards into the night!

and probably back to my house or someplace else at some point. call if you can't make sense of things. and email me bryiarrose @ livejournal.com if you need to know where my place is and can't access that link.

p.s. if you think i won't care whether or not you come, or that you aren't invited? forget that shit. i want everyone there. everyone. including you.

this friday is my birthday. and i want a party. but because i am lazy i'm taking my party to the red dragon. we'll start at my house, those who want to, about seven-ish and head over to the dragon at like eight (?) in hopes of actually getting a table. yes it's cliche. but it's also within easy walking distance.

so come to my party! can't make it for long? can't make it til late? cool. just swing by or call if you can't find us. i want a non-sucky birthday for once. please?

also, please take this important birthday poll:

[Poll #664377]

p.s. if you don't have access to my contact info and need it, email me at bryiarrose @ livejournal and i'll hook you up.

the snow has finally stopped falling and the stars are out.

last year i asked for a snowstorm, and this year it showed up. over a foot in the past day and some. it's blindingly white and lovely.

so here i am, turning twenty-five. i bought cupcakes to take to classes with me... i've apparently regressed twenty years to the time when you brought treats for your birthday and got to wear a crown and be special for the day. at least nearly.

so. quarter-century, here i come.