bryiarrose | Entries tagged with star of my heart

can't sleep even though i'm tired.
my head is going too much tonight i think.
my tattoo turned five this week and i was too busy to sit down and think about that. and march is just around the corner and there's thinking about that too.
and i feel guilty in a number of ways that i'm not singing... particularly in any ensemble setting, and haven't in quite a while. but this is part of the trouble of working full time for me, and working the hours that i do, and still always feeling exhausted.
i used to sing this song at bravo. and ridiculously or not, it nearly always made me want to cry. and it still does. and i miss singing it. miss being able to sing other people's words as an outlet.
i'm just typing here. by the way.
i stumbled upon words tonight that i shouldn't have read.
and i get stuck thinking about words that i feel like should be there for me to read that aren't.
i've never, never been comfortable with anger.
stupid. going to try sleeping again.

today marked four years that i've had my tattoo.
it was actually four whole years ago that i sat there in the baltimore tattoo museum while george (he's the one in the front holding the... pig?) inked onto the small of my back the design we'd come up with together.
last year, in the memoir class i took, i wrote about getting my tattoo. it ended up as a central piece of my large work for the course, which i don't think anyone but jane ever read the whole of... but tonight there's something i want to say about all this. about the ink under my skin, about the way time passes. the way our memories work. that year was full of tuesdays. this year is full of days. really, i'm not sure that i can find the words tonight--still somewhat sick with whatever i have that's been morphing day to day, i'm drained to say the least. and so, though i might change my mind and lock it or move it later, here's the section from that memoir, and my tattoo to go with it.