once i was so much stronger.

i think that life in the real world teaches you about choices.
firstly, that they exist. secondly, that there is almost never anything you _have_ to do.
which means that right now, when this all looks scary and impossible and what i want to do is crawl away and cry, i know that it's an option.
but it's not why i fought so hard to get here.
granted that 'here' right now is shitty and difficult and i've lost that mentality of 'it'll get done, it'll all be fine, because that's the way it has to be'
but i know i'm the one that got me to that here.
and i know it's worth it.

also, i've been wondering if part of being a grownup is working through problems instead of running from them.
mostly i've been thinking about this in terms of relationships. because somewhere along the line, quite a ways back, that's what i started doing.
i take solace in the fact that in most other areas of my life i still run like hell from my problems, and therefore i am nothing like grownup.
still, i wonder which is the more productive solution. beyond the obvious that is. personally.