just another

i swear to god, the girl that lives below me must have a death wish. she's apparently incapable of leaving without turning her alarm off, and she proved it again today. the last time it happened i called and left a message for the landlord. but today i almost feel a little bad about bothering them. it's thanksgiving after all.

i fell asleep last night before starting either movie, i guess they'll just have to wait for tonight. i'll be glad when i end up with a sleep schedule that doesn't base itself on sleeping in the evening and waking up at three or four in the morning. i think that by falling back asleep this morning i've counteracted it some, but who knows.

going up to the cities in a couple of hours to see my family. hoping it won't be a huge emotional drain. thanksgiving isn't an easy day for me, hasn't been for awhile now. but i try. it will be good to see my siblings if nothing else, and i miss my grandmother. part of me, however, just wants to stay home and hide and watch tv and eat burritos and maybe clean this place a bit. i suppose it's not in the cards though. or not until later.

i hope the rest of you celebrating have lovely thanksgivings. there are certainly things i'm thankful for, and all of you certainly make the list.

sad songs and waltzes

before anything else, let me make it very clear. i love my family. they're wonderful. especially my father and grandmother and siblings. i don't know what i'd do without them. food was lovely today, having a family is always good. thankful most likely fits.

now that i'm through that. for some reason it was very clear today that my dad has a couple of favorite pastimes when i'm around. one is to harp on me about jobs. why i haven't put in my application at the apple store, what i'm doing after college, so on so forth. along with this comes the nagging about how much debt i must be going into since i apparently haven't been asking him for money and must be spending what i do have foolishly and so on and so forth. then there's the bit where he asks a question about something in my life and stops listening before i'm halfway through a sentence, nevermind if it's a question he should already know the answer to. the fact that finishing college has become a priority for me somehow just doesn't sit as well with him as it seems like it should. and it irks me. obviously. i suppose this listy rant is mostly for my own benefit. so that when he makes me feel badly about something, or even irritated, i can remember that this is his problem. not mine. he is supportive. but in strange ways, and to a certain point. i love him. i don't know what i'd do without him. but he isn't happy with his life, and i think that comes out sideways sometimes. at any rate.

all in all it was a good day. the radio tried to play me a bit on the way home, but i managed to thwart it. proving how very lame i really am, now that i'm home i'm sleepy and cranky and all i want is to talk to my boy and fall asleep. which doesn't sound so bad, except it proves me v. lame.

mostly, today, i've managed not to think about the reasons today tends to hurt so much. mostly. not entirely. and that's one more reason that sleep wouldn't be so bad. because at least i couldn't begin to dwell on it... something i don't think i either need or want this year. i suppose we'll see.

on various random notes: my not yet ten year old sister has new braces on her upper teeth. i'm somewhat jealous of minervacat who's in baltimore. unless flipping it helps a bunch again, i think i need a new futon mattress. i didn't get to bring home any leftovers, and that sucks. also, need to do laundry before it eats me.
kisses to all, i'm off to be lazy and possible v. lame.