memories and travels making friends

spring cleaning. i find envelopes that have resealed themselves. love letters, birthday cards that play the part of never having been read. and when i roughly open them, careless of the past, the words come swimming back at me. and i wonder how i lived through them in the first place, how i was so young and sure and strong.

today i am strong, too. finally throwing out memories that won't ever do me good again. making an attempt at finding order in my world.


i drove the highways in los angeles, made a crown of kelp in the freezing waves of santa monica. let the beauty of the mountains and the blooming world and sun wash over me.

i rode the el train in chicago. by myself. and with my love. i walked in the rain and popped my bubble gum. i smiled at children on the train, and at the other twenty-somethings with headphones--because they understood. i laughed and dreamt strange dreams. and i am still dreaming.

i drove home in the pouring rain and found a world i think i can live in again. for now.

and so perhaps i'm back. hi.