i've missed my life.

we went out to azia tonight. it was spur of the moment and i almost didn't go. but thank god i did. now i'm trashed. no. really. trashed. three psuedo-martinis will apparently do that to me these days. but. i found ken. we were sitting at our table and out of the corner of my eye my subconscious caught something. and i just knew. and naturally i was right. ken is my family... all of those bravo kids from three years ago are. and i miss them like mad. and all of a sudden there he was and here he is and ken's back in my life. at least i hope so. things are about to get more interesting again. they can't get less so with him around. and like i said, now i'm trashed, but i'm dancing with ghosts tonight and living my heart out loud.

i was told today that i'm brave to put so much out there. here. and really, i don't feel like i do.

screw it all. there's this piece of my life that i've been missing for three years that i stand half a chance of getting back now--and that's huge. even if i can't type for shit.