"...some are mathematicians, some are carpenter's wives..."

[bryiarrose]

tonight, driving home, the sky was black between the clouds. and there were stars. and i wanted music that made me happy--was familiar, because that just went along with

one of the things i'd kept meaning to write about all week were my plans for tonight. last sunday, out of the blue it seemed, i heard from the boy who gets labeled as my-very-first-boyfriend. it seems that since i've deserted aol, he's found me here on lj, and has made his way through most of my entries. for what it's worth, he's pronounced me a 'good story.' so naturally i went back through my posts (at least the public ones) to see what it is i've been writing here. what i came up with? is that i bitch about college a lot, am very preoccupied by nature and the weather, and last year really must have come off as a lush. aside from that, it's probably not a bad representation of what i'm like nowadays minus a few things. after tonight, tim could probably voice his own opinions on the subject. back to where i started though. he and i made plans to get together tonight, see farenheit 9/11, have coffee and catch up.

first things first, the movie completely sold out every showing for tonight before we could get tickets. damn. then, brilliant as i am, i ended up getting up to the cities over an hour later than i should have. luckily, he was totally cool about it and amused himself with several of the fascinating reading materials to be found on uptown street corners.... or, well, something like that. we eventually ended up hitting la bodega tapas bar, zeno and the uptown over the course of the evening, and i at least had a wonderful time. i also decided that as a thirteen-or-so-year-old, i must have had really good taste.

it's strange how you can miss someone that hasn't been much more than a memory and a few sentences here and there in your life for close to ten years, but that's where i've found myself lately. specifically where this boy is concerned, even before he showed up again. almejor and i were debating this earlier in the week, and i decided that perhaps it has something to do with knowing someone well enough, or in a certain way, so that you always kind of know them... or at least you understand. something. then again maybe it just has to do with where we start from, and where we're headed. i don't pretend to know, really.

i'd like to think that i've grown up well in the last ten years. that i'm slightly less infuriating than i once was, that i've learned which of my quirks suit me and which might not... not that i'm thoroughly grown up, but i'm certainly more grounded than i once was, and that counts for something. tim is as cute as he ever was, with some of the same little things about him that take me right back in time and just make me smile. also, however he managed it, the boy's got some pretty impressive knowledge in the music department, not to mention good taste. now i just have to meet the girl he's been keeping to himself for the past six years or so and figure out how much is her influence. (though that idea seems to scare him a bit. go figure.)

perhaps it's something i shouldn't say, but if we ever ended up single at the same time again, i could see it being worth considering... then again, i also get the feeling that if we ever were to date again we'd eventually end up driving each other crazy in nearly the exact ways we did way back when. it's still pretty obvious that he's the logical one and i'm the loose cannon, for better or worse. luckily we're both taken at the moment and so i don't have to worry about it one bit. so there. ;) but he is the first boy i wrote music about, and i still think that must count for something. (for the record minervacat, he may be able to one up you someday... somewhere he's got tapes of me at twelve or thirteen recorded on a sony boombox just for him. mmm, blackmail material.)

now i'm just babbling, and perhaps should run off to sleep for awhile. but i wanted to get down some of how happy tonight made me. fate or the universe or whatever it is seems to be of the mind that i should be revisiting my past lately, and enjoying it... thus far, i have no complaints.

Comments

[almejor.livejournal.com]

That was indeed quite a sky last night, quite a sky.

[minervacat.livejournal.com]

my friends list last night was full of people reminiscing about old loves. how strange, as the boy - also called tim, funny enough - who was my first great love has been on my mind for weeks. I'm so glad this turned out well for you, love. I wish my story had as happy an ending. I'm all jealous.