what's setting you off

i miss the shower in my old apartment.
i know i have this terrific bathtub, and i do love it. so i feel kind of guilty. but sometimes you just want a shower. and the shower here is such crap.
i think i could get today off the ground if i could just go stand under lots of hot water for awhile. but i don't have the energy for a bath. soaking won't do me any good today.
it's three thirty in the afternoon and i'm still in my kimono. have eaten kix and chocolate chips and am contemplating what to do with the avocado i have that has to get eaten today. also contemplating why i can't just pull myself together and be a reasonably functional human being with amounts of energy like to what's expected of me.
the dream i was having when eric woke me up to leave today was bizarre to the point that i can't even explain it. perhaps it's just that i didn't reach the arc of the dream and so none of it had come clear and cohesive yet. not that that's what dreams do, but it could be.

someday i will live somewhere that has a great big bathtub and a shower with unlimited amounts of heat and pressure.
seems like a good life goal to me.