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no such frame of mind
Apr. 19th, 2004 05:08 amtoday's weather continued blustery until tonight when, having driven up to the cities to pick up medications (finally), the skies broke loose with sheets of rain, hail, and flooding. not to mention hints of tornados. and all directly in my return path. precisely in my return path. i waited out the storm and missed my evening's rehearsal because of it. eventually, after cups of tea with honey, i finally found my way home in the continuing rain. though i'm exhausted from the tossing and turning my allergies subjected me to last night, and feeling altogether wiped out, the world seems none the worse for the drenching it's gotten. walking in from the car the air was full of the smell of earth and the flowering tree in the neighboring yard. a frog started singing last night that i suspect has made his home in the tiny landscaped pond on the other side of the fence. he greeted me again tonight, but now seems to have gone to bed as well leaving me with the train whistle and the softly falling rain as background for my insomnia.
i don't take well to sleeplessness. it doesn't suit me any longer. when i was younger it was more allowed, but since i've learned to sleep so well--or perhaps i should say abnormally--it's a rare occurrence. i know it's due to medications and my dosing schedule and countless other outside factors, but it's slightly unnerving all the same. i know my body will insist on making up for it and inconveniencing me further, and as sleepless as i am i'm also too exhausted to make any productive use of this time. thankfully, what they've put me on tonight has at least calmed my dodgy immune system (which seems unable to distinguish mold, etc. from anything else) if not my ears.
i babble and i ramble and i wish i were asleep. i've opened the bedside window again, and perhaps the rain and breeze will help with all of it. i'm tired of playing these games with my body. tired of waking when i needn't and sleeping when i should. here's at least to the spring that's trying to soothe me. the dripping of water from the eaves that i'll take for a lullabye.
i don't take well to sleeplessness. it doesn't suit me any longer. when i was younger it was more allowed, but since i've learned to sleep so well--or perhaps i should say abnormally--it's a rare occurrence. i know it's due to medications and my dosing schedule and countless other outside factors, but it's slightly unnerving all the same. i know my body will insist on making up for it and inconveniencing me further, and as sleepless as i am i'm also too exhausted to make any productive use of this time. thankfully, what they've put me on tonight has at least calmed my dodgy immune system (which seems unable to distinguish mold, etc. from anything else) if not my ears.
i babble and i ramble and i wish i were asleep. i've opened the bedside window again, and perhaps the rain and breeze will help with all of it. i'm tired of playing these games with my body. tired of waking when i needn't and sleeping when i should. here's at least to the spring that's trying to soothe me. the dripping of water from the eaves that i'll take for a lullabye.
