musing myself to sleep

i feel like a lot of my support network has been m.i.a. lately. i know a lot of good people, but the ones who've known me long enough that i don't feel bad either venting to or just being less than a good version of myself with, somehow aren't accessible these days. partly i know why. mostly i'm not complaining, because well. it's just how it is. but it makes me sad to realize i don't know who to look for when i need someone to be reassuring and non-judgemental.

(this isn't to say plenty of people aren't willing to be this, just that i don't know who i have that comfort level with)

eventually they'll either resurface, or i'll learn how to talk to people without it feeling needy. (in the meantime, i suppose there's always posting to lj when i should be sleeping.)

curious: "need" is apparently labeled as an undesirable in my head right now... i wonder how that happened. maybe it's just a safety net...