so if I fell I would fall right in

today has been a long day. finally nearing the end, i think it will balance out. but there's something a little unfair about starting the day with jackhammers and ending it with a dj under my kitchen. it was unquestionably march here today... the wind talking in the tree branches and any paper that could feel the breeze acting like a living thing. all i wanted to do was find a kite and try to catch some of that wind with it. instead i took a couple hour detour to make sure bastian was okay.

( cat and i went to the vet today, very last minute. he's too skinny, but should be okay. )

now it is time to think about curling up, and hoping the road work doesn't start quite so loud so early tomorrow. there's only so many days in a row i can run on six hours of sleep before it starts to show.

somewhere in this world, someone is taking pictures of lions right now.

it's a funny thought. but obviously it must be true. just thought you all should know.

i realized just now, (as coincidence would have it, though i'd been thinking of it last week) that my tattoo is six years old as of a handful of hours ago. it's a wednesday this year. i think at this point, i'm counting in fridays though. which puts a good stretch between me and the original year of tuesdays. it's good. this place where i am.

i love the ink sewn into my skin. for everything it's meant, and brought me through, and how that changes year to year, day to day. the words i've laid out here in previous years still mean something important, but it's like seeing words through water, or with the sun in your eyes. everything we touch... that touches us, changes us in tiny ways we're incapable of comprehending. i'm thankful for every single one of those, that's brought me to who and where i am right now.

everything i type tonight feels cheesy and mediocre... not saying what it is i'm trying to get at.

it's the time of year where i think too much. i only mind that sometimes, and mostly only when i should. but i'm not over thinking this, it's not something i've ever had to think about. direction, surety of purpose. i still say 'live soulfully.'

i feel like a lot of my support network has been m.i.a. lately. i know a lot of good people, but the ones who've known me long enough that i don't feel bad either venting to or just being less than a good version of myself with, somehow aren't accessible these days. partly i know why. mostly i'm not complaining, because well. it's just how it is. but it makes me sad to realize i don't know who to look for when i need someone to be reassuring and non-judgemental.

(this isn't to say plenty of people aren't willing to be this, just that i don't know who i have that comfort level with)

eventually they'll either resurface, or i'll learn how to talk to people without it feeling needy. (in the meantime, i suppose there's always posting to lj when i should be sleeping.)

curious: "need" is apparently labeled as an undesirable in my head right now... i wonder how that happened. maybe it's just a safety net...

friday when i wake up i'll be in seattle. i've never been there before. obviously, a number of you have. so.

what do i need to see/do/etc while there?

this saturday is also my birthday, so birthday type ideas would be welcomed as well. (bohemianish has suggested trying to track down one ms. mothra_dawn as she is rumored to be a karaoke superstar and everyone needs more mothra in their lives.)

i'll be back reallyreally early on the eleventh, and then we'll talk about potential birthday type plans for here. twenty-eight feels like it could be quite a good year.

went in tonight to see if my conch was healed enough to change the jewelry yet. the curved bar i'd been wearing was fine, except due to the length of it, i kept bumping it every now and then.

the good news is that they put in a shorter straight bar that will hopefully be a bit better at this point, and the better news is that i can have a flat disc in the front now. still no ring, but that will come once it's healed. the less fun comes with the scar tissue in the back (still not a big deal, and likely due in part to getting elbowed in the ear by a girl dancing next to me one night when i was out with ms. gunn), but i've got a couple of suggestions to help with that now too, so hopefully it will disappear somewhat.

it's been just over three months since i got it pierced, and the guy who changed my bar said he'd plan on another three before it's fully healed. i'm a bit more optomistic, but we'll see.

you know how sometimes you'll buy an album, and for some reason, whatever reason, no reason, it gets set down someplace and left un-listened to?

friday picked a cd out of the stack a couple of weeks ago while he was here, and i realized sheepishly that it still had the plastic on, despite having moved with it twice, if not three times.

tonight i pulled off the cellophane and listened to it, and was reminded of a feeling i get now and then about these sorts of things. that sometimes the reason you haven't listened to an album, is because it just wasn't time yet. whyever this album waited until now to be listened to, it's just what i needed.

cold weather is brenda weiler pushing her boundaries. i hadn't been particularly inspired by anything she'd released since crazy happy, and so that's probably part of why this one wasn't a priority when i picked it up. but this is a different sort of exploration of her sound, and it's just what i needed to hear as i try to pick out where i'm going with my own. (not that i've any idea of where that might be mind you.)

brenda's a musician i can think of in at least a tangential way as a peer, having opened for her so many times, and to hear her manage to do such different things and yet still be so clearly and identifiably herself is a really. good. thing.
something tells me i'll be living with this album for a bit.

at spyhouse for a bit.
i've got the red booth for now, though if it gets busier i'll need company to defend it...


eta: i know it's a coffee shop, but still. how do you serve food (like soup) and not have any salt whatsoever?

i've been lazy about flickr lately, but celina enabled my laziness with her mad internet skills and so now there are a whole bunch of photos.

corn maze photos from, um, october?

also, new year's photo's both from gunn's shindig, and from the independent with m.

everyone else is doing it, which seems like a good enough excuse right now. so i'm also attempting the 365 days craziness.